As families look ahead, conversations about preschool often surface—how to choose one, prepare, and support children through this big transition. For many, preschool is a child’s first step into a wider world beyond home. While exciting, it can also stir big feelings for children and parents alike. From a nervous-system perspective, preschool is less about academics and more about emotional safety, regulation, and connection.

As a somatic practitioner and parent, I see preschool transitions as an opportunity to gently support a child’s developing nervous system. Somatic approaches focus on the body as the foundation for emotional regulation and resilience. Young children experience emotions primarily through their bodies—tight bellies, wiggly limbs, shallow breathing—long before they have words. Supporting their bodies supports their minds.

In my family, both children attended a nature-based preschool in Santa Cruz. Like many local programs, their days were spent outdoors—climbing, swinging, digging, observing insects, singing under the redwoods, grounding barefoot in the grass, cooking imaginary meals in the mud kitchen, and building dams after a rain. The natural environment itself became a regulating force. Fresh air, open space, and unstructured play offered a softness to the transition that supported their nervous systems. While nature-based programs aren’t the right fit for every family, Santa Cruz offers many options emphasizing movement, sensory exploration, and connection to nature.

Separation anxiety is common when starting preschool. It is a healthy expression of attachment, not a problem. From a somatic lens, separation anxiety shows up as a stress response: children may cry, cling, freeze, or resist transitions. Rather than rushing to “fix” these behaviors, slowing down and offering regulation helps. A simple practice parents can use is co-regulation through breath and presence. Before drop-off, take a few slow breaths together. Place a gentle hand on your child’s chest, back, or belly and invite them to feel your warmth. You might say, “Let’s take three slow breaths together before we say goodbye.” This signals safety to the nervous system.

Predictable routines also support children. Young children feel safer when they know what to expect. Creating a consistent goodbye ritual—special hug, repeating a phrase, waving from the same spot, or offering a small trinket they can keep in their pocket or cubby—can ease anxiety. Consistency and confidence are key; children sense when we are unsure, and our nervous systems communicate this.

Emotional resilience in early childhood is about learning that feelings move through us and that support is available. When a child struggles after preschool—meltdowns, exhaustion, withdrawal—it often means their system is processing stimulation. Some children mask emotions during the day and release once back with a caregiver. Offering downtime, physical closeness, and unstructured play helps restore balance.

Body-based tools at home support resilience. Stretching, shaking out arms and legs, or lying on the floor with a pillow on the belly can help children discharge stress. I used to have many impromptu dance parties with my kids—often involving questionable dance moves and loud music chosen by them. Turning these into playful moments—“Let’s shake like dogs after they’ve been in water” or “Let’s be starfish on the ground”—keeps the practices developmentally appropriate and engaging.

Social skills also grow during preschool. From a somatic perspective, social learning begins with felt safety. Children who feel regulated are more available for connection, sharing, and cooperation. Rather than focusing solely on manners or problem-solving scripts, we can support social development by helping children notice their internal cues.

Dr. Mona Delahooke, whose work has deeply influenced my own and many trauma-informed approaches, emphasizes that behavior is a form of communication. When a child hits, withdraws, or struggles socially, their body may be in a state of overwhelm. Supporting regulation—through movement, sensory input, and connection—often leads to more organic engagement.

Parents can model this by naming body sensations and emotions in everyday moments. Part of building a child’s self-esteem is teaching self-advocacy—helping them notice needs, name feelings, and ask for support when something doesn’t feel right. For example, “It looks like your body feels tight right now. Do you want to stomp your feet or take a big breath?” This helps children respond rather than react.

Choosing a preschool that aligns with your child’s temperament matters. Some thrive in busy, social environments; others prefer smaller, slower-paced settings. There is no one-size-fits-all answer, and children are best supported when their individual nervous system needs are respected.

It is also important to acknowledge parents. Starting preschool can activate emotions—grief, relief, anxiety, pride. Children often mirror what we haven’t processed ourselves. Offering yourself compassion and regulation is not selfish; it is foundational. When we tend to our own nervous systems, we show children that transitions can be met with care and resilience.

Preschool is not just preparation for kindergarten; it is preparation for relationship, self-awareness, and emotional well-being. Approaching this milestone through a somatic lens shifts focus from readiness and performance to safety, connection, and trust. In doing so, we lay a foundation that supports children not only as students, but as their most authentic selves.

Tovah Petra, MA, is trauma-informed somatic practitioner and creator of the Whole Family, Whole Child approach. She helps parents of neurodivergent children create emotionally safe, attuned, and connected homes — while nurturing their own nervous systems, relationships, and intimate connection.