As the back-to-school season ramps up, many parents and caregivers feel the swirl of emotions that come with re-entry: excitement, nervousness, and a deep desire for our children to feel safe, seen, and successful in their own way.
For those raising neurodivergent children—kids whose brains process the world differently—this season often requires a slower rhythm and a more attuned lens. Rather than pushing our children to conform to the school system's pace, what if we walked alongside them, prioritizing body-based trust and nervous system safety as the foundation for learning and growth?
Honoring the Pace of the Child
Neurodivergent kids—whether autistic, ADHD, sensory sensitive, anxious, or otherwise wired differently—often live in a world that moves too fast. The return to school can feel jarring, especially after a summer of freedom and self-directed rhythm.
This is where we as caregivers can slow down and attune. Attunement means listening with our whole selves—sensing their nonverbal cues, feeling into their emotional world, and trusting that behavior is communication.
Walking at their pace might mean extra time in the morning, more support during goodbyes, or less packed afternoons. Honoring their pace isn’t falling behind—it’s an investment in long-term resilience. A body that feels safe is a body that can learn, relate, and regulate.
Creating Somatic Safety
In my Whole Family, Whole Child approach, we see the body as essential to healing—not just for kids, but for caregivers, too.
Somatic safety goes beyond physical safety. It’s the internal felt sense of "I belong. I’m safe to be me." For neurodivergent children, even “normal” school settings can register as overwhelming or unsafe.
What helps build somatic safety?
- Predictability and Structure: Visual schedules, practice runs, or gentle prep talks help their system orient.
- Co-regulation: Your calm presence—even when you're working hard to stay grounded—helps anchor them. A deep breath or hand on your heart can go a long way.
- Body-Based Tools: Support self-regulation through sensory kits, movement breaks, or playful language like, “Is your body in rocket mode or snail mode today?”
Safety opens the door for flexibility, connection, and growth—even in environments that aren’t a perfect fit.
The Power of the Attuned Parent
You don’t need to have all the answers. Your presence, curiosity, and connection are what matter most.
Maybe your child is clingy this year. Maybe they’re holding it together at school, then melting down at home. Or maybe they need a chewy necklace, noise-canceling headphones, or a quiet place to decompress. That’s not failure. It’s data.
Being an attuned parent means:
- Observing before reacting: What’s their body trying to say?
- Offering choices: “Want to jump 10 times or take a squish with your pillow?”
- Celebrating coping: “You listened to your body and took a break. That was so smart.”
And don’t forget—you matter, too. Your capacity, your regulation, and your softness are part of the picture.
You Are Not Alone
Raising a neurodivergent child often means going against the grain—advocating for accommodations, navigating misunderstandings, and educating others who don’t see your child’s brilliance.
But you’re not alone. You’re part of a growing movement of caregivers redefining success—not by gold stars, but by connection, regulation, and wholeness.
This back-to-school season, remember:
- It’s okay to go slow at their pace.
- Your child’s needs are not an inconvenience.
- Your intuition is powerful.
When we walk at the pace of our children and attune to their nervous systems, we lay the foundation for confidence, resilience, and self-trust. And isn’t that what real learning is all about?
Somatic Tips for a Smooth Back-to-School Transition
- Start the Day With Body Connection: Stretching, bouncing, or animal walks help your child feel grounded before leaving the house.
- Incorporate Breath Games: Blow feathers across the table, use pinwheels, or pretend to blow up a balloon with your hands to teach calm breathing playfully.
- Use Visual Emotional Check-ins: Make a simple chart with faces or colors. Ask, “Where are you right now?” to support emotional literacy.
- Offer Pressure or Deep Touch: Hugs, squeezes, or being rolled in a blanket like a “burrito” can help regulate and soothe overwhelmed systems.
- Practice After-School Reset Rituals: Let your child decompress before anything else—maybe with water play, swinging, or lying under a heavy blanket.
Tovah Petra, MA is a Somatic Practitioner and the creator of the Whole Family, Whole Child approach, where she helps parents of neurodivergent kids create emotionally safe, attuned, and connected homes—while also nurturing their own nervous systems, relationships, and intimate connection along the way.
Learn more at www.tovahpetra.com Magazine article featured in www.growingupinsantacruz.com August 2025.
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