In the world of sexuality, intimacy, and embodiment, we often hear the phrase “safe space.”
And while I deeply value safety, I want to be honest:
I don’t fully align with that term anymore.
And while I deeply value safety, I want to be honest:
I don’t fully align with that term anymore.
Here’s why.
When we enter into erotic work — whether in coaching, community, or relationship — we’re not stepping into a predictable, bubble-wrapped experience. We’re stepping into the unknown. And that takes courage.
In my Somatica practice, I co-create what I call a brave space.
Brave space doesn’t mean reckless. It means real.
"Safe space" can sometimes carry the illusion that we’ll never feel anything hard — that we won’t get uncomfortable, triggered, or challenged.
But true safety isn’t about avoiding discomfort — it’s about knowing we can move through it with support.
In this work, discomfort isn’t a sign that something is wrong. Often, it’s a signal that something true is surfacing — a place that’s been numb, shut down, or guarded for good reason.
The brave space is where we allow that to emerge — slowly, consensually, and with care.
We begin each journey by setting clear agreements for how we’ll be together — in body, mind, and energy. I offer a foundational structure, and then invite you to add your own agreements. This isn’t a one-way street — it’s co-created.
We use constant body check-ins to track what’s happening in real time. There’s no expectation to override your boundaries or push past your edges. Instead, we titrate your experience — letting trust build at the speed of your nervous system.
You don’t have to give your trust away all at once.
In fact, I invite you not to.
In fact, I invite you not to.
Instead, we build it together — slowly, with consistency.
With clear yes’s and empowered no’s.
With ruptures and repair. With tools like Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent, which helps you discern what you're truly wanting, giving, allowing, or receiving.
If something feels scratchy, “off,” or unclear — I see that as an invitation, not a problem.
You’ll often hear me ask:
“Can we get curious about that edge?”
“Would you like to explore that part with a bit more attention?”
“Would you like to explore that part with a bit more attention?”
You are never forced into anything. But we can learn to stay — gently — with what’s arising.
We build trust through the discomfort, not around it.
True safety isn’t about never feeling hurt.
It’s about knowing that if something goes sideways, we can repair.
It’s about knowing that if something goes sideways, we can repair.
That’s why I believe in relational integrity. If a rupture happens — whether in a session or in life — we don’t have to cancel, collapse, or ghost.
We can name it, feel it, and come back into connection, often stronger than before.
In my practice, brave space means:
- You are not expected to be “fine” all the time.
- Your edges are welcome, not avoided.
- You’re not left alone in discomfort — we move through it together.
- We value repair, presence, and your embodied truth over perfection.
You don’t have to be fearless to explore this work.
You just have to be willing. And willing is more than enough.
With warmth and devotion to your unfolding,
Tovah Petra
Tovah Petra
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